This is It

In my whole 8 year stay in the company, about 7 years of that were spent chanting "magre-resign na ako!". and yet i still stayed for 8 more years.

But now I feel, this is it... anytime I will go. It's just a matter of waiting for 8 more months or in the next few weeks.

I have asked for signs that say that I should stay. But all I get are signs that I should leave. Maybe I'm just biased, I don't know. I just can't find any more reasons to stay.

Friends have left, at least one per week.

Stomach cramps are very frequent now, every time the thought of it enters my mind.

I'm smoking again, heavily this time. I am capable of finishing an entire pack within the day.

I just got back from a vacation and thinking about returning to the city makes me want to throw up.

I'm losing appetite everyday.

I may be weak, but I have never cried this much about work before. Morning and night.

I'm having heartburns. I get mad every single day.


So telll me... is it still worth it?


Next question, what will I do after?

What I really really want - a looooonnngg good vacation. Far, far away. To restore my mind and refresh my soul. And clean my lungs.

What the majority say I do - No breaks. Have to look for a job while working and once there is one already, I can start right away. Practical.


This is all so bleah.

To my friends

It's quite sad to realize that you can't keeep the friends you want to keep forever. I can't help but assume that they move away because either I did something wrong or I didn't become the good friend that they want me to be.

Or maybe everything just isn't meant to be.

To my closest friends, I'm sorry kung marami akong pagkukulang...